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I’m a little confused, angered and in a bit of a strange space wondering why.No regrets, just wondering why was he brought into my life?As though I’d met the male me in present, past and future form.Without a head in the clouds stance I can honestly say he felt like the human I could share tomorrow with (I don’t know about forever). It “ended” abruptly – he basically stopped responding to messages and calls (I don’t call or text more than twice) and it has not been too long since the silent treatment began (from speaking and texting everyday *weep*) and I’m left wondering WTF?NK.apothecary, Victoria Lorance Weiss PR Marketing, Draper Girls Country Farm, Portland, Oregon, University of Oregon, California Home Fitness, Go Ducks, Blue Print, Sub Urban Riot, The Sak, Portland, Kenilworth, NJ Fire Dept.So it has been a bit of a weird run in the love department lately – I don’t want to call it failure, but maybe let’s call them opportunities for learning.Of course, that's not really the case, here, is it?
And Jessie suddenly found herself blindsided by something with which she was painfully unfamiliar: a genuinely lovable disposition.
Some are just assholic beings but, mostly, I think it is the fear of not feeling like they’re good enough or that it is too good to be true or making sure they protect themselves from being hurt before it happens (even if it wasn’t going to happen). (I also do single quite well, so it’s an interesting fusion of being).
Apart from it being rude to ignore someone, I’m distraught (a little dramatic) that he walked away before we could explore what this incredible connection could have been; either way I’m letting his childish behaviour go & allowing.
For his own reasons, reasons he chose not to share with me, he has chosen to go through the ticking of time without me. I don’t know what the universe has in store – I was mad at some point screaming to the sky that yet again I got a taste of exactly what I want and it was ripped away from me cruelly.
These things do happen – maybe it is a blessing in disguise, maybe not. I’m over it now (sort of) but I do wonder if I can trust the universe, my angels, ancestors and the stars with my hopes and dreams and wants and needs if they will continue to be mean to me. This is a deeply personal post and not my usual, however it felt right to just get it off my chest. And for the love of all that is good, not fall into the trap of trying to get “closure”.